"Some People Are Worth Melting For…"

Many people have seen the newest Disney movie, "Frozen." In the movie, the adorable character Olaf, the snowman, finally discovers what heat is while he is trying to save Princess Anna. When she notices him melting, she screams, "Olaf, you're melting!" and he simply answers, "some people are worth melting for."

When first hearing this phrase, you think, "awe, that's cute," and if you're like me, you related it to someone you would "melt" for. But what does it really mean, to melt for someone?

I think of it in these terms, willingly risking or sacrificing everything - maybe even your own life - for the betterment of someone else's life. In that case, everyone is worth melting for, right? Jesus died for everyone! So that must mean that everyone is worth melting for, right?

Wrong. Not everyone is worth melting for!

It is true that Jesus thinks that we are all worth dying for, and we all are, but to truly melt for someone could be taken in other terms than just dying to save someone else’s life. There are other ways to melt for people…

1.)   Being someone’s friend.

If they are a good friend but have bad morals that is one way to melt for someone. If you start compromising who you are to be friends with them, cheating, lying, stealing, swearing, drinking, sexual activities… you melt for that person. You are essentially sacrificing yourself for the betterment of them. Yes, being their friend may be great! However, if you start to notice that you are sliding, maybe it’s time to take a step back and re-think the real reason you are in that friendship. There are many times that the bible mentions instances where having someone who is bad company is not a good idea.

 “Don’t be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

“Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” Proverbs 14:7 (People who don’t make the best decisions all the time!)

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” Proverbs 22:24-25 (This isn’t just with anger…)

2.)   Relationships

Dating someone who you know may not be the best for you. This includes non-believers! It may feel great to have that great relationship with a guy, and girls I know what you’re thinking, “I can change him!” No… you can’t. If he’s going to change, he will change on his own. Without your help, without you dating him. If he’s not a Christian and he really wants to date you, he will make himself available to you to allow himself the right to date you. He will make himself worthy of you!

Even if you aren’t a Christian, maybe you just don’t want to date someone who smokes, drinks, or something as simple as swearing. Still set those standards, if you have to, make it known that you won’t date them because of that…  they will change if you really want to date them.

And as a side note! If you start dating someone after they have stopped smoking, swearing, drinking or even became a Christian, and they change back… make it known that you have no problem ending the relationship if they don’t kick the habit, but don’t end it before they try again… sit down and talk about it.

Never lower any standards you have to hold onto someone who isn’t willing to make themselves worthy of you. This is another way of melting for someone. The idea of lowering your standards is like watching Olaf melt, as his little snowman head started to fall to the ground.

This is the common bible verse that many people know, and yes it is hard to follow, but for Christians… Please, for me… Stick to it! “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship as light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

I know that is disappointing, but like I said, if they really want you, they will do anything and everything to show you, change themselves for the better to make themselves worthy of you! (and to stay that way!)

Now don't get me wrong, there are people worth melting for! And this is a contradiction, but everyone is worth melting for… At. Some Point!

Now that I covered the bad ways to "melt" I can share the other key part about melting for someone. You see, the thing about melting is that if you melt for someone, they should also be able to freeze and mold you into something or someone better.

That’s what any positive relationship should be like. Melting into a liquid state and reforming back into something better.

What I mean is easily explained in a story.

Before I met my best friend, I was shy, quiet, not able to stand up for myself and if it wasn’t for my best friend, I would not have gotten through all I have. Through our years of friendship, she melted me. We got down into the wet mess that we may call our past, we become liquid state – sometimes literally through tears – as we explained things that we wouldn’t tell many people. However, once we were done explaining all the bad stuff, we explained the hurt and pain, and all the “dirty laundry” that everyone has, but pretends that they don’t. Once we were done with that, we started a healing process together.

In doing this healing, we used our friendship to get together, grow in God’s word. We set our dating standards together, we became each other’s accountability partners, even for things that we never struggled with, because we didn’t want it to become a struggle.

If our friendship were to end for some reason, maybe we lose contact, or our lives just become completely different, she still would be leaving me in better shape than when she found me. Now I’m a little bit more outgoing, I can be loud, obnoxious, and I have those verses that we studied together, and those standards that we set. That is someone worth melting for!

I had a best friend (not the same one) that I had miscommunication with, and unfortunately the friendship had to end. However, she was worth melting for, because we shared everything. She was one person that melted me down, and rebuilt and froze me again into someone I would want to be. Although she hurt me and it seemed at the time that maybe she wasn't worth melting for, I look back and see now that she was still worth melting for.

I hope I’m making my point.

There is one last thing I want to share though…

I have been really open about my relationship with Tyler, how it began and things that I may not be proud of… So I am going to be open about it again.

When it comes to determining whether or not he was worth melting for… it’s hard to say. He did melt me down; he knew every dirty detail I could possibly hide. He knew everything about me, and yet he still looked at me after I told him all of it and said, “I don’t care, I still love you…” Together we grew and worked on our healing together as friends, and as boyfriend and girlfriend. I had melted for him completely, and he was building me back up, he made me want to be a better person, brought out that side of me. A side I didn’t know I had. That is a relationship worth melting for!

However, the second time around with our relationship, I melted. In the same way, I gave him all the dirty details when he had forgotten and he said the same things. He was there for me, building me up, but also tearing me right back down. But I had also started melting in a bad way. I compromised my morals for him, and while I was melting that way, I was melting by sharing my whole heart with him. If there was something I was worried about, I would tell him, but as the relationship went on, there was no building me back up. We couldn't even turn to the bible together because he wasn't a Christian! I couldn't tell him what God was doing in my life because he didn't want to hear it…

On top of that, if we went too far, and I said that it couldn’t happen again, he would groan and almost pout about it, making me feel bad. He would then freeze me again by freezing me out and not coming to visit, so when I froze it was not into something that was better. It’s not like he was making me into a better snowman, he was leaving me as a pile of ugly muddy melting snow that keeps melting and re-freezing. It was like frozen rain on a sidewalk, that would freeze, then melt and freeze again. This is not good, that's not healthy!

All in all, melting for someone can be a very positive thing, as long as you are doing it right. It’s like giving a testimony in church, you share all the dirty details, only to get all the feedback from people who were touched, inspired, and moved by your story. You melted to build someone back up, and by them telling you that it affected them in a positive way; they are re-freezing you into someone better, someone with confidence in God’s word and what he’s doing in your life!

It’s true, some people are worth melting for, just make sure you are melting in the right ways, and for the right people. Some people, you will melt for, only to have them hurt you… but what was the final result? If it is good, they were worth melting for.

If it was a bad result… well… lesson learned.

The key is to not compromise your standards and melt for someone who doesn't deserve every drop of you, but to figure out who it is that fit your standards and deserves you enough before you melt for them, and then trust them to refreeze you into something better.