Thoughts On Modesty

Every Sunday, especially around the junior high and young high school years, Mom would look at me and either gives an approving smile, or a grimace that always made my heart sink. Even though (at the time) I didn’t respect her very much, I still wanted to know that if I bent down a guy truly could not see up my skirt or dress. Mom would tell me that anything above my ankles was too revealing, but other than Maxi dresses (which are just now coming back into style) there were not very many fashion forward dresses.

           

As senior year came around I had started realizing that dresses even though they are long in the front, does not mean that they were made to be the same length all the way around. Although they were supposed to be made that way, they were not. So I started finding dresses that were long enough for both my mothers taste and mine.

As senior year progressed, the newest fashion statement was not wearing dresses; it was wearing yoga pants, and leggings as pants. Neither of which I would ever want to be seen wearing in public. Under normal circumstances, I would typically not wear any type of yoga pant I would wear it to bed or to the gym, but nowhere else. Which brings me to my latest life story:

           

The summer has already been… exhausting. Not only have I started a new job at Plato’s Closet, but also I am still working through the Ann Arbor YMCA up at Adams Elementary School, teaching children gymnastics. It was not so bad for the first couple of weeks, until my boss at Plato’s started scheduling me on the same days that I work up in Ypsilanti. This has required late nights, very early mornings, and learning how to drive with one hand and eat with another, although while doing that, you learn some tricks.

Today was one of those days, I wore something decent to work and as soon as 2:50 hit, I was clocking out and ready to scram for my car. I got to my car by 2:55 and was at the nearest fast food restaurant within the following five minutes. I hurried up and got some gas and was on the road.

Once I got there and set up the gym with Dana, I changed into my yoga pants and my newest YMCA t-shirt, which I didn’t realize, but it was extremely big. I actually ended up having a lot of fun with the classes, and the kids were catching on really fast. The second class was my favorite, because they always help clean up afterwards. Soon enough I was back on the road.

After a couple of random things, like taking my car to the dealership to get it checked out, and stopping by Lola’s to get some frozen yogurt, my mom called telling me it was time for me to go pick her up at the church. I didn’t even think twice about my attire. I had come from work, I was exhausted, not feeling well, and was now being forced to drive a car that I hate. I figured that Mom would be sitting outside of the church reading or doing something; she did say “I’ve been ready for twenty minutes!” So I figured that I would just end up pulling up, switch seats with Mom and it would be okay.

Instead we get there, Mom is nowhere in site. I get out of the car; still not thinking about what I am wearing until I step through the doors of church, and look down at my shirt that is probably two sizes too big on me, and yoga pants that have been stretched out, and I think might have a hole in it. I see all the people there, I was sure that the church would have been barren by now, but I was wrong.

As soon as we were alone, I told my Mom that I was slightly concerned with showing up to church in yoga pants and a t-shirt. It is not the most modest outfit in the world, and I don’t want to give people the wrong impression. So she just looked at me and said, “you have had a long day, you just came from work, and before that, you came from work. If someone looks at you and judges you for wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt at church when you were there not even for five minutes, and you just came from working at a gymnastics center, then that is their problem not yours.”

That comment made me feel better, because she was right. However, that still made me think that as young women we should still present ourselves in the way that we want to be seen. My attire, to me, said exhausted and overworked. Whereas to a guy, it may say, “not modest” or “too revealing/too tight.” I’m not saying that those things are what they are thinking when they see a girl in yoga pants, but they may not get the picture that I work for the YMCA and coach gymnastics by just looking at a t-shirt and yoga pants.

With that being said, the way I dress does say a lot to others about who I may be, and how I may feel about myself. I was overworked and tired, you could see it in my clothing, my hair and make-up. If I were to dress very provocative, it does not mean that I am offering everything up to any guy that comes along, it may just mean that I was never really taught modesty. However, it may paint that picture to other people.

That was the thing that I never understood with my mom, I just wanted to wear the dress because it was cute, not because of how short it was. Now I understand this tiny little detail, that it does say something to others about who I am and my character. So I am just going to try to make it reflect myself more often, by sticking with my “no yoga pants to class” rule and by keeping to dressing modestly.

Yes, there will be days like today when someone will see me in my YMCA work attire wearing something that may not be “appropriate” for the setting, and that will happen. However, as long as I present myself the way I see myself and want others to see me as well. Most of the time, the small things (such as picking your mother up from church for five minutes) are not going to get in the way of that, and always remember, modest is hottest! (Literally… it gets kind of hot wearing cardigans to cover bra straps in the summer…)