Fall Break Away 2014

This last weekend I had the privilege of going to the Ohio Chi Alpha Fall Break Away. This was not something that I took lightly, and the story of it is kind of amazing, but regretfully I am going to have to be very vague in certain areas. Although I will tell you what God has done, with what I can say.

When my friend Gela first told me about Fall Break Away, I shrugged it off thinking that I would be at school and I would end up going to Fall Break Away with the Michigan Chi Alpha. However, on move-in day in the car, my friend Ethan brought up Fall Break Away and once again later that night he highly suggested it. Three times of this retreat being suggested, I decided that I should really pray about it. Quickly I felt like God was telling me that a lot was going to happen at this retreat and that it was necessary that I go.

Still within the first couple of weeks of school, I got a text message from my boss telling me when I would be starting my job. Suddenly I realized that I would be working the day of Fall Break Away. “You need to find a sub,” she texted me. The subbing process for working at a gym literally sucks. You have to email a ton of people you have never met, asking them to take over your job for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning. The job is fun, but it’s also exhausting, requires strength and a lot of patience.

A couple of weeks later, I realized I still had not found a sub, with two more weeks until Fall Break Away, I had already paid for the trip, and informed Ethan that I was going. The only thing that was stopping me was getting a sub for work. So with two weeks to do so, I started emailing and texting people. Time after time, someone was working or someone else was being too selfish to sub for me. I was getting frustrated. I knew that missing the retreat would be something that I would regret. Confused at what would happen if I didn’t find a sub, I texted my best friends the question. “What do I do? Do I ditch Dana, and risk losing my job to go on this retreat? Or do I miss the retreat that I already paid for to keep my job, not get Dana in trouble and stick to my commitment?

Quickly Chloe answered back, saying what I didn’t want to hear. “As much as it stinks, it would be best for you to go to work.” I knew she was right; making the wrong decision could result in my co-worker also getting in trouble and losing her job. She continued on in another message saying that God would make it happen. That didn’t stop my stress though, I started freaking out, and praying that someone would be able to sub for me, and within the hour someone responded saying that they could do it!

Everything was in place!

Fast forward: The Friday that we leave, I ended up having a deep conversation with my father. I told him that God told me something at National Fine Arts Festival right before my senior year. My Dad looked at me, bewildered, “Bec, you have known this since you were five.” I looked at him, confused and my Dad continued, “when you were five you walked up to me and said, ‘Dad…’ you were five Becca…”

It seemed at that point that I suddenly remembered that time at kid’s camp when I told my friends the same thing. The time sophomore year when I felt that call again, but didn’t see how it would make sense in my life. I remembered it all, and somehow within the year of dating someone who was not the right guy, I forgot all that I already knew God had planned.

The funny thing is, that even when I was dating the wrong guy, I still felt like God was calling him to the same thing, but I was wrong. Not about what God was calling me to be, but about Tyler being along for the ride. Right before I left my Dad stopped me from leaving and told me. “With what you know God has called you to, you know what God has called you to be. There will be sacrifices that you have to make. You will have to trust God one hundred percent and whoever is standing by your side ninety-nine percent. There will be times when you will have to trust whoever is at your side more than you trust yourself because God may have spoken to them, but not you. You are going to have to be willing to follow wherever your husband goes, even if it steps outside of your comfort zone. There is a lot you are going to have to trust God with, and with that, you are going to have to decide sometime soon…”

I nodded, and left to fill up my gas tank for the road trip ahead. The whole night, that weight was on my shoulders, I was going to have to put my complete trust in someone who I can feel but can’t see. Then I was going to have to put my trust in someone else that for all I know, I have not met yet.

I left for retreat that day with that heavy feeling of what I had just realized that day. It was weird to come to a realization of something I have known and have been told multiple times, but just remembered, at a time when it was crucial that I knew this. During service, that was all I could think about. I talked to Gela about it, and she gave me the best advice she could give, but I took some time before I went to sleep and asked him for some direction.

The next day we had our break out sessions. The first one I went to was about hearing God’s voice for our future, and I heard some things that I needed to hear, to know that I’m not crazy. The second one was about the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. Although I had read and heard this many times, it was even discussed in some life groups, I wanted more information on it so when people would ask, I would be able to tell.

Lunch came, and the events of Friday did not seem to bother me anymore. I decided that I was going to go with the flow, and let God work. So we went to lunch, and somehow I ended up being stuck with the decision of whether or not to share my testimony with Gela’s sister, Denise, and a girl I had just met, Annelise. I sat and pondered whether or not it would be okay to share my testimony. If I told them they could both think I was a complete nut, or be excited for me and encourage me. Gela looked at me and told me, “these are probably the two most trustworthy girls you could meet.” With that I started the whole story. Gela ended up leaving and coming back in the middle of it, “did you spill the beans yet?” I shook my head no.

“The beans have not been spilled yet... so spill them!” Denise said, and I just looked at her and spilled every bean in the can. They freaked out and I continued, they were saying that they were so excited for me and they felt that everything that had happened was all God’s timing. It was great to hear, coming from them!

After lunch we met for the Amazing Race, and a group picture. My team didn’t do very well, but it was a lot of fun. Afterwards was free time and I had felt like God was telling me that instead of working out, I just needed to get in the word. I found a nice spot on the playground and sat down. “Okay, where do I read?”

“Esther.”

So I opened up my bible and turned to Esther and started reading. I got through the whole thing and I honestly didn’t know what I was supposed to get out of the story. I had read it, and heard it many times. I even watched the Veggie Tales movie about Esther and one of my favorite movies was One Night With the King.

I shared my concern bout not knowing what I was supposed to get out of the story with Annelise. “I just came here with the expectation that God was going to do something awesome, but he hasn’t yet.”

“Girl, you still have time tonight and service tomorrow!”

“I know, but he had me read Esther and I don’t know what I was supposed to get out of it, and he hasn’t done anything…”

“Yet, but there is still service tonight.” I nodded and we went to dinner. After dinner was service, and half way through worship, I kept thinking about what my Dad had told me. With what God was calling me to, it is going to take courage to stand up for what I believe in, and faith that I could face circumstances that were out of my control. Just like Esther. But that wasn’t where it ended.

Half way through the sermon, but preacher says, “Turn to Esther…” Annelise who was sitting next to me looked at me with her mouth open, “girl, that’s confirmation!” I was seriously amazed. He talked about how God had favor for Esther as she risked her life to save her people; the king also favored Esther, which saved her life and her people. The sermon was about whose we were though, and that means that we need to not act like we are our own person. We were bought at a price, and therefore we have to honor God with our bodies, this could be taken in many different ways, and one way was to trust him and act through him in every way. Accepting what God was calling me to.

I went up for prayer and told a random woman about what I felt God was calling me to. She prayed for me and pulled away, the next thing she said was a question, "I assume that you don't know…" I answered, “actually… I do…” (I'm sorry for being very vague, but I want to tell the story without spilling everything).

“That’s what I thought, but you aren’t…"(Still being vague).

“Nope…” This exchange in itself was not important when it came to words. It was important for me, but for the sake of this post, what she specifically said to me was not important. What was important was that what she said to me was confirmation of something I had been praying about all summer. It confirmed my testimony although it was not done being written!

The next thing she told me was the advice I felt I needed. “I felt like God was telling me that this is a time in your life that is very crucial. It is a time of transition and waiting on God, don’t make a move unless he says to…” She continued with things I needed to hear as in telling me to walk with God with my hands open. He will give things and take them away, and I just have to be ready for both, and not cling to anything he wants to take. I nodded at this instruction. Before I left she looked at me and told me that I may feel crazy right now, but she went through the same thing, and God is always faithful. I was stunned! Multiple confirmations, and direction all in one night and God had done the same thing with her! 

I told Annelise all that had happened and she freaked out! It was awesome! Gela and I ended up finding a quiet corner, and I sat as I told her what happened, and listened as she told me her testimony for the first time. It was really awesome, because in that, God revealed so much to me about things that had already taken place this year in school. God had used my roommate to break me from emotionally connecting to people at school and at home. I thought that what she had done was not in God’s plan, but he used her in a way that was awesome!

We joked about being hungry, and “ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.” Coincidentally we were sitting at the door of the cafeteria, so jokingly I knocked. Unfortunately it didn’t open to a buffet of food. Later that night, we ended up getting lost on our way to a gas station… but that is a whole different story and I was asleep for most of it.

The following day seemed to come and go, the group shared all that God had done for the weekend, and it was awesome to hear! We ended up praying together as a group, and God had a lot to say and it was really encouraging! We then took a couple group pictures:

And then we were on our way to our rooms to pack up. We left Heartland, and my life had been changed in that one night. I had clearly heard God’s voice. I knew what it sounded like and that I was completely in tune with it. Nothing this weekend was left to chance! Just like the rest of my testimony!

As I told my Mom all that had happened this weekend, I was getting ready to leave for school again, she was throwing food at me and telling me to take anything I needed. Right before I left, she gave me a hug goodbye and we were standing out by my car right before I left, standing in the car light I told her that I was just overwhelmed by all God had done all this last summer and this last weekend.

 His instructions for me were very clear and I told my Mom this. She just looked at me and said, "Bec, if you can trust God now, in this time where you could tell your testimony and people just look at you and think you're crazy because you say 'God says…' then you will be able to trust him at any point later in your life." As I thought about what she said, I realized she meant that I could trust him in the sacrifices he is going to ask me to make. I will also be able to trust him when he tells me to make a choice that does not seem legitimate, and in the times that will seem like I might be putting myself in danger, or when he may have spoken to someone else I am close to, someone I would follow and also trust, but not myself. Those times when I am left in the dark (which is similar to right now. I know one thing, in the string of a thousand other things that are going to happen). However, in those are the times I will be able to trust God, and this time of transition and waiting on God could not be more crucial.