So I have a couple of posts pending, and waiting for me to continue writing them... but in all honesty, I want to talk about camp right now, and what God is doing RIGHT NOW and then I can talk later about what GOD DID my sophomore year.
So here it goes...
I am not sure if it is the non-stop cheering for our tribes during evening activities, trying to keep up with the sunny side-ers as they sing their cabin song at the speed of lightning, or the magic that is behind watching a Pale-Face, get called, covered in paint and be initiated into their tribe, that makes being at camp incredible. We are currently in our first week of having campers, and already the girls are such a joy, and God is doing so much in me already.
BUT... The week before camp.
I packed up my bags, moved out, with the help of Danny, Justine, my family and Dave. Thanks guys! I moved home, and didn't cry. I helped Bethany put her new dresser together, spent time with my dogs, made a video, wrote a story, said goodbye to people, put some final things in place, and No Tears. I didn't think that I could really be okay with just leaving everything behind for a summer to go to a place that I really didn't know if I wanted to be at. I knew I would be having fun, but I had already spent four days away from Dave, and life just felt weird. I am used to seeing him every day... and I wasn't. I already craved our Taco Bell runs, or the nights when I would fall asleep on his couch, the days when he would pick me up, and save me from my apartment and my hours of video making to show me what he loved about Ypsilanti so much. We would talk about our futures, and the future of the club, plans, dreams, hopes and even every now and then... I would bring up one of my biggest secrets that most people don't believe and he would talk me through it.
I already missed that. I even broke down to my Mom, sister and brother about the pressure, the calls that I was getting, the things I had to do still... and in the end, I just said, "I feel better," they looked at me and laughed. Nothing about this was going to be easy. So Sunday came around, it was my last Sunday and as Mom dragged me over to Cornell to get prayed for, I felt the tears coming. How was I about to spend a whole summer away from my church, away from my club, away from my family and friends? How could this really be what God wanted? I wanted to be in the ministry... but would it really mean that I had to sacrifice everything for a whole summer?
YES.
I left Tuesday June 2 at 5:30 in the morning and made my 8 hour and 53 minute drive to Camp Merri-Mac for girls. Typically I love driving, but it was pretty torturous after a decent amount of time. It got to a point where I just put on instrumental music because I was tired of hearing my own voice overpower the baring Taylor Swift, High School Musical, Pitch Perfect, and Hannah Montana music (bringing back the oldies for long car rides). I only got lost once.
When I arrived at camp, I spent the first two days wondering and asking God what I was doing at camp, and my biggest question. "Did I just make a huge mistake?" but after a decent day of free swim, getting a nice bruise from the blob, and getting a little color, the North Carolina afternoon thunderstorms hit and we made our way up the hill. Once we were at the top, and ready for initiation, my rain jacket was pointless. My hair was soaked, I was out of breath and I was about to be covered in paint anyway. What color paint? No clue. I had a couple tribes in mind, but honestly I would cheer for whatever tribe I was put with because the banner would be won either way.
It was magical, and I am not sure if it was from the falling rain, the voice of the great spirit laughing in the trees far off, or the fact that I knew these girls already, and they were being weird, and covered in paint, and the fact that not many women at the age of 20 would be so into getting painted up, wearing feathers, dancing around a fire, singing tiring camp songs in the pouring rain, and trying to win a banner every session.
Eventually my name is called, and the secrecy of the cerimony will remain a secret... but I was placed in Choctaw, and the paint was placed on my body. Since it would pouring, I would be spitting paint out of my mouth a couple times every minute. But there is no other way to describe initiation other than...
"MAGICAL"
So...
Afterwards we made a small hike up to the mark, where it was slightly more dry, and that is when they would tell us who our Co-co's are (co-counselors) and what age group we had. Names would be called off, girls would stand up, and if I had befriended them, I would cross my fingers and hope that I was with them, others I had not connected with very well, and had trivial conversations with, I hoped that if I was put with them, that I would get to know them better.
One girl from my current cabin was called, Becca Morris. I like her, I wouldn't mind living with her. Hannah Wardell. I like her too, this wouldn't be a bad cabin to be with.
BECCA Garber!
Hey!
I stood up, found my place on the table, and we waited silently as we waited for E.P. to call off our cabin name.
CLOUD NINE! (16 Year Olds, but we didn't know that). We looked at each other confused, and someone told us our age group and we jumped with excitement! We moved into our cabins, asked the basic questions, where we are from, go to school, relationship status's and I even got a chance to tell Hannah my story that night, which was amazing.
Now onto what God has been doing. Shortly after we moved into our cabin, I found a book that I was supposed to return to Lauren Motsinger before I left for camp, but it clearly got lost in my packing. I pulled it out as I recalled the many Sunday's I would sit in the church cafe and try to focus on reading it. However, a lot was going on last summer, God was really teaching me to hear his voice, he was working in my life and in the meantime, my mind was focused on something else.
Reading about being single and becoming the woman God wanted me to be last summer was something I knew that I HAD to do, but my heart wasn't in it. I wanted it for the wrong reasons. So in the middle of asking God, "okay, I know now why you want me here, but what do you want me to learn?" I opened up the book and gave it a second shot. This time there were no distractions, that would hinder me... I mean... I am MILES away from everyone and everything that I truly love. I could really listen this time.
So... the first chapter in the book, Lady In Waiting was about reckless abandonment. It talked about how this time of waiting isn't a time to just sit back and wait, it is a time to take advantage of the time that we have with God. I remembered that from reading it last summer, but in the middle of me asking, "why?" he answered me.
He told me through the book, "I wanted to get you to a point where I would tell you where to go, and what to do, and without thinking about all that you would give up, without letting those hinder you from listening, you would go." Had he asked me to do so last summer... I probably wouldn't have. Also, I really didn't know his voice early on in the summer... I was still doubting things he would tell me, but he cleverly maneuvered it so that I would learn his voice last summer, and this summer he would lead me here. Recklessly leaving everything that makes me happy without knowing why.
So my next question that I asked God was, "okay, so you told me to come here out of reckless abandonment, but surely you didn't just want to see if I would listen, teach me that lesson and let me go and have fun after that. What else do you want to do with me?"
He quickly answered that one too in the book, being a lady of diligence. Not just wasting this time that I have, but really ministering to these girls. One thing God really spoke to me and said was, "you hesitated to pray out loud last year. BUT NOT THIS SUMMER. You hesitated to speak up last summer, BUT NOT THIS SUMMER." I took that charge, and God has just given me a courage and a confidence that I can lead a gymnastics class, I can lead a devo, I can pray out loud for these ladies, I can be their spiritual leader, and emotional guide.
I have already given my first devotion, which I will admit that I was nervous for, and I am getting comfortable with something that is uncomfortable to me (praying out loud).
In the meantime, I know that this is going to prepare me for Madagascar, and I cannot wait to continue to minister to these girls! I already love them so much!
And that is Camp...
With the non-stop singing after meals, the stomping on the benches that we sit on for lunch. There are those moments like last night, when you are in the middle of the Mike, and you are dancing to the song, Shut Up and Dance with EP, Mary Helen, Sydney and Olvey between Volleyball sets. In those moments you throw your head back and think to yourself, "Remember this, remember this moment for a long time Becca." There is watching the youngest girls, the Tweedles, run to lunch chanting "tweedles are the best!" The magic of initiation, watching these girls grow, and having coco's that keep your rule-breaking self in check most of the time. Camp is just one big adventure so far, and God is completely in control of it!
More to come later!
Go Choctaw!
-Bec
So here it goes...
I am not sure if it is the non-stop cheering for our tribes during evening activities, trying to keep up with the sunny side-ers as they sing their cabin song at the speed of lightning, or the magic that is behind watching a Pale-Face, get called, covered in paint and be initiated into their tribe, that makes being at camp incredible. We are currently in our first week of having campers, and already the girls are such a joy, and God is doing so much in me already.
BUT... The week before camp.
I packed up my bags, moved out, with the help of Danny, Justine, my family and Dave. Thanks guys! I moved home, and didn't cry. I helped Bethany put her new dresser together, spent time with my dogs, made a video, wrote a story, said goodbye to people, put some final things in place, and No Tears. I didn't think that I could really be okay with just leaving everything behind for a summer to go to a place that I really didn't know if I wanted to be at. I knew I would be having fun, but I had already spent four days away from Dave, and life just felt weird. I am used to seeing him every day... and I wasn't. I already craved our Taco Bell runs, or the nights when I would fall asleep on his couch, the days when he would pick me up, and save me from my apartment and my hours of video making to show me what he loved about Ypsilanti so much. We would talk about our futures, and the future of the club, plans, dreams, hopes and even every now and then... I would bring up one of my biggest secrets that most people don't believe and he would talk me through it.
I already missed that. I even broke down to my Mom, sister and brother about the pressure, the calls that I was getting, the things I had to do still... and in the end, I just said, "I feel better," they looked at me and laughed. Nothing about this was going to be easy. So Sunday came around, it was my last Sunday and as Mom dragged me over to Cornell to get prayed for, I felt the tears coming. How was I about to spend a whole summer away from my church, away from my club, away from my family and friends? How could this really be what God wanted? I wanted to be in the ministry... but would it really mean that I had to sacrifice everything for a whole summer?
YES.
I left Tuesday June 2 at 5:30 in the morning and made my 8 hour and 53 minute drive to Camp Merri-Mac for girls. Typically I love driving, but it was pretty torturous after a decent amount of time. It got to a point where I just put on instrumental music because I was tired of hearing my own voice overpower the baring Taylor Swift, High School Musical, Pitch Perfect, and Hannah Montana music (bringing back the oldies for long car rides). I only got lost once.
When I arrived at camp, I spent the first two days wondering and asking God what I was doing at camp, and my biggest question. "Did I just make a huge mistake?" but after a decent day of free swim, getting a nice bruise from the blob, and getting a little color, the North Carolina afternoon thunderstorms hit and we made our way up the hill. Once we were at the top, and ready for initiation, my rain jacket was pointless. My hair was soaked, I was out of breath and I was about to be covered in paint anyway. What color paint? No clue. I had a couple tribes in mind, but honestly I would cheer for whatever tribe I was put with because the banner would be won either way.
It was magical, and I am not sure if it was from the falling rain, the voice of the great spirit laughing in the trees far off, or the fact that I knew these girls already, and they were being weird, and covered in paint, and the fact that not many women at the age of 20 would be so into getting painted up, wearing feathers, dancing around a fire, singing tiring camp songs in the pouring rain, and trying to win a banner every session.
Eventually my name is called, and the secrecy of the cerimony will remain a secret... but I was placed in Choctaw, and the paint was placed on my body. Since it would pouring, I would be spitting paint out of my mouth a couple times every minute. But there is no other way to describe initiation other than...
"MAGICAL"
So...
Afterwards we made a small hike up to the mark, where it was slightly more dry, and that is when they would tell us who our Co-co's are (co-counselors) and what age group we had. Names would be called off, girls would stand up, and if I had befriended them, I would cross my fingers and hope that I was with them, others I had not connected with very well, and had trivial conversations with, I hoped that if I was put with them, that I would get to know them better.
One girl from my current cabin was called, Becca Morris. I like her, I wouldn't mind living with her. Hannah Wardell. I like her too, this wouldn't be a bad cabin to be with.
BECCA Garber!
Hey!
I stood up, found my place on the table, and we waited silently as we waited for E.P. to call off our cabin name.
CLOUD NINE! (16 Year Olds, but we didn't know that). We looked at each other confused, and someone told us our age group and we jumped with excitement! We moved into our cabins, asked the basic questions, where we are from, go to school, relationship status's and I even got a chance to tell Hannah my story that night, which was amazing.
Now onto what God has been doing. Shortly after we moved into our cabin, I found a book that I was supposed to return to Lauren Motsinger before I left for camp, but it clearly got lost in my packing. I pulled it out as I recalled the many Sunday's I would sit in the church cafe and try to focus on reading it. However, a lot was going on last summer, God was really teaching me to hear his voice, he was working in my life and in the meantime, my mind was focused on something else.
Reading about being single and becoming the woman God wanted me to be last summer was something I knew that I HAD to do, but my heart wasn't in it. I wanted it for the wrong reasons. So in the middle of asking God, "okay, I know now why you want me here, but what do you want me to learn?" I opened up the book and gave it a second shot. This time there were no distractions, that would hinder me... I mean... I am MILES away from everyone and everything that I truly love. I could really listen this time.
So... the first chapter in the book, Lady In Waiting was about reckless abandonment. It talked about how this time of waiting isn't a time to just sit back and wait, it is a time to take advantage of the time that we have with God. I remembered that from reading it last summer, but in the middle of me asking, "why?" he answered me.
He told me through the book, "I wanted to get you to a point where I would tell you where to go, and what to do, and without thinking about all that you would give up, without letting those hinder you from listening, you would go." Had he asked me to do so last summer... I probably wouldn't have. Also, I really didn't know his voice early on in the summer... I was still doubting things he would tell me, but he cleverly maneuvered it so that I would learn his voice last summer, and this summer he would lead me here. Recklessly leaving everything that makes me happy without knowing why.
So my next question that I asked God was, "okay, so you told me to come here out of reckless abandonment, but surely you didn't just want to see if I would listen, teach me that lesson and let me go and have fun after that. What else do you want to do with me?"
He quickly answered that one too in the book, being a lady of diligence. Not just wasting this time that I have, but really ministering to these girls. One thing God really spoke to me and said was, "you hesitated to pray out loud last year. BUT NOT THIS SUMMER. You hesitated to speak up last summer, BUT NOT THIS SUMMER." I took that charge, and God has just given me a courage and a confidence that I can lead a gymnastics class, I can lead a devo, I can pray out loud for these ladies, I can be their spiritual leader, and emotional guide.
I have already given my first devotion, which I will admit that I was nervous for, and I am getting comfortable with something that is uncomfortable to me (praying out loud).
In the meantime, I know that this is going to prepare me for Madagascar, and I cannot wait to continue to minister to these girls! I already love them so much!
And that is Camp...
With the non-stop singing after meals, the stomping on the benches that we sit on for lunch. There are those moments like last night, when you are in the middle of the Mike, and you are dancing to the song, Shut Up and Dance with EP, Mary Helen, Sydney and Olvey between Volleyball sets. In those moments you throw your head back and think to yourself, "Remember this, remember this moment for a long time Becca." There is watching the youngest girls, the Tweedles, run to lunch chanting "tweedles are the best!" The magic of initiation, watching these girls grow, and having coco's that keep your rule-breaking self in check most of the time. Camp is just one big adventure so far, and God is completely in control of it!
More to come later!
Go Choctaw!
-Bec
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