Not About You

Have you ever had someone in your life that just keeps hurting you over and over again? Yet when they come back asking for forgiveness you always say yes?

I was always like that, maybe I was always afraid to lose friends even though I knew they would hurt me later. Maybe it’s just who I am.

Either way, as I have mentioned before, I am striving to be that person that loves unconditionally. I want to be the person that will stand by someone’s side if they need them, not thinking about what they have or haven’t done to me.

So here’s the story…

A few weeks ago I went on a fall retreat with the University Christian Fellowship at Eastern Michigan. In one of the sermons, the pastor talked about this sister relationship and how God’s forgiveness relates to it, so he goes on to tell this story…

(A story within a story!)

There were these two sisters. The older one always left for school before the younger, and got home after the younger sister too. So one day their mother took the older sister shopping and she got some new cloths.

The younger sister see’s the cloths in the closet, and knows that if she wears them to school, she could come home, change and her sister will never even know. So that’s what she does.

A couple days later, she was never caught. However, the guilt started to eat away at her so she came clean and told her older sister what she had done. Her older sister replied, “it’s okay, since it’s the first time you have done this I forgive you completely. Just don’t let it happen again.”

The younger sister replied, “I won’t… I promise!” But a couple days went by and the younger sisters cloths were getting boring and she needed a change. So she snuck back over to her older sisters closet, and knew that she could get away with wearing something of the older sisters for the day.

A couple days go by and the younger sisters guilt is eating away at her again. So she comes to her older sister saying, “I have to confess, and I feel awful, but I wore your new cloths to school again. I’m really sorry…”

So the older sister replied, “that’s okay. I forgive you since this is the first time you have done this to me.”

Wow! What amazing grace, love and forgiveness!

This is exactly the type of forgiveness God displays every single day!

Psalms 103:8-12 says:

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”

Thank God for that! It continues…

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

That’s the kind of love and forgiveness that is displayed by that older sister. It was as if the first time never happened, and that’s what I strive my forgiveness to be like.

Sure they will hurt me, and most people think that those are the people that you need to cut out of your life, but those are the people that need you the most. They just don’t know it yet!

I have a friend, who inspired this post. I was sitting in church today and do you ever feel just overwhelmed so you just start crying? Being in the presents of God can do that to someone.

That was today, but this time while I was crying I just kept praying Please! Please save him!

See the pain that he is causing me isn’t something like betraying my trust, although he has done that. It’s not like breaking my heart, although he has done that too.

This pain is sitting here day after day, praying for someone who doesn’t seem to be budging. Praying to a God who seems to not be hearing what you have to say.

Knowing that his salvation and our eternal life together is on the line… it breaks my heart.

Over

And Over

And Over Again

I know he loves me unconditionally, and I love him just the same, but it HURTS.

Remember when I said that people usually just walk away from those people in their lives?

What if I walked away from him?

He has admitted that I am his only friend. I am his best friend, and I am the only Christian influence in his life. What’s going to happen to him?

If I were to walk out now, knowing that it breaks my heart to know that he is not saved, and I can’t change his mind for him.

How much more is it going to hurt if I walk out and wonder the rest of my life if he EVER got saved?

When I said that you can’t just walk out of someone’s life because they hurt you too many times, I realized that it’s not because I’m afraid of losing him – even though I am - that’s not why I don’t just end it now.

It’s because I know that he needs me. Besides, how am I supposed to show unending love, mercy, grace and forgiveness if I just walk out after a year of prayers and less change than I would have hoped for at one year and two months? I’m not supposed to, that’s me giving up on him. Like everyone else seemed to.

When we show God’s love, mercy, grace, compassion, forgiveness (you name it), we have stopped thinking about ourselves at that point.

Love… it’s not about us, it’s about the other person! (Jesus on the cross)

Grace… not about us…

Compassion… not about us…

Forgiveness… not about us…

Mercy… not about us…

It’s when we offer those things that we are putting ourselves aside and willing to influence someone else’s life.

So in the end, if we are supposed to live a life that reflects Jesus’s life… it’s not about us. It’s about them.