To the girl who finds herself without a Girl - Best Friend actively in her life.
Recently I was there, and let me tell you, this situation is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Whether it was a falling out with your childhood best friend because you both realized that you not only grew apart, but became too different of people. Or if it was just the fact that your best friend moved away and you're only "best friend" is your significant other...
This still isn't your fault.
This was a hard lesson to learn, that this pain and loneliness the you are feeling isn't because you did anything wrong, it's simply because sometimes life likes to take things that you love away. Often times just saying their names would leave me in tears, or I would look around my whole friend group (because in the end we are all friends, but we each have our "best friends") and I would just start crying. It hurt when my boyfriend would say things like "well I don't want to feel like I'm leaving you out when I go to hang out with my friends," seconds after he says, "my friends are your friends..."
Of course he didn't mean it like that, he meant that we need to have friend times separate from just being together all the time, but when you're left at your apartment alone because none of your roommates are ever home, and he is out enjoying himself. It's not exactly easy.
It's a confusing state because his friends say that he likes having you around, but you know there is still something off. You like them, they are your friends, but there's a difference between being close friends with them because they enjoy your company and because you're the girlfriend. You laugh with them, you enjoy their company, you talk with them, and even have snap streaks with them, but it just feels off sometimes. Maybe because in the end they aren't your best friends. Your boyfriend is, but that doesn't really count. He's not a girl.
It's a confusing state because although you have different friends in your friend group, there isn't someone you can call up and ask to come over, ask if your outfit looks weird. There really isn't a person to catch you in awkward situations, like when you can't get your nose ring out of your nose, and there really isn't anyone to go grocery shopping with, or just shopping in general.
You often wonder what happened, how you ended up here. How did your squad fall so far apart that you're all friends, but the moment(s) that brought you all together seem so far away?
So to the girl who does not have any active female best friend in her life...
I was there with you, and sometimes you just have to wait. Because those friends will come along, and one day you will find yourself in the middle of your whole group of friends, but it will just be the three of you pow-wowing and telling stories about past years, and what has happened already this year...
It's scary, but put forth some effort, comment on the tweet about rooming together, and it may take a little bit, it may be awkward at first because you haven't had to do this in years...
But it will be worth it!
In the meantime, find a hobby, something you enjoy. Immerse yourself in work, or in your school work... Find what you love, and stick to it.
Your next girl-best friend(s) will come. You just have to be patient. It may mean a couple of rough months... but she will come.
She always did in the past... and when she does, all that anger from the falling out will lesson and eventually go away. The sadness of the best friend who moved away for a big girl job will dissipate as well. Eventually you'll wake up and find yourself eager for the day, looking forward to practices, and parties, and social gatherings.
It will get better!
Best of Luck! :)
Recently I was there, and let me tell you, this situation is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Whether it was a falling out with your childhood best friend because you both realized that you not only grew apart, but became too different of people. Or if it was just the fact that your best friend moved away and you're only "best friend" is your significant other...
This still isn't your fault.
This was a hard lesson to learn, that this pain and loneliness the you are feeling isn't because you did anything wrong, it's simply because sometimes life likes to take things that you love away. Often times just saying their names would leave me in tears, or I would look around my whole friend group (because in the end we are all friends, but we each have our "best friends") and I would just start crying. It hurt when my boyfriend would say things like "well I don't want to feel like I'm leaving you out when I go to hang out with my friends," seconds after he says, "my friends are your friends..."
Of course he didn't mean it like that, he meant that we need to have friend times separate from just being together all the time, but when you're left at your apartment alone because none of your roommates are ever home, and he is out enjoying himself. It's not exactly easy.
It's a confusing state because his friends say that he likes having you around, but you know there is still something off. You like them, they are your friends, but there's a difference between being close friends with them because they enjoy your company and because you're the girlfriend. You laugh with them, you enjoy their company, you talk with them, and even have snap streaks with them, but it just feels off sometimes. Maybe because in the end they aren't your best friends. Your boyfriend is, but that doesn't really count. He's not a girl.
It's a confusing state because although you have different friends in your friend group, there isn't someone you can call up and ask to come over, ask if your outfit looks weird. There really isn't a person to catch you in awkward situations, like when you can't get your nose ring out of your nose, and there really isn't anyone to go grocery shopping with, or just shopping in general.
You often wonder what happened, how you ended up here. How did your squad fall so far apart that you're all friends, but the moment(s) that brought you all together seem so far away?
So to the girl who does not have any active female best friend in her life...
I was there with you, and sometimes you just have to wait. Because those friends will come along, and one day you will find yourself in the middle of your whole group of friends, but it will just be the three of you pow-wowing and telling stories about past years, and what has happened already this year...
It's scary, but put forth some effort, comment on the tweet about rooming together, and it may take a little bit, it may be awkward at first because you haven't had to do this in years...
But it will be worth it!
In the meantime, find a hobby, something you enjoy. Immerse yourself in work, or in your school work... Find what you love, and stick to it.
Your next girl-best friend(s) will come. You just have to be patient. It may mean a couple of rough months... but she will come.
She always did in the past... and when she does, all that anger from the falling out will lesson and eventually go away. The sadness of the best friend who moved away for a big girl job will dissipate as well. Eventually you'll wake up and find yourself eager for the day, looking forward to practices, and parties, and social gatherings.
It will get better!
Best of Luck! :)
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