Little Sis

Hey Beth,

This post is going out to you. Twice in the past week I have been on the phone with you and every time we said goodbye, you left me very worried. I was going to write this on your Facebook wall however, it will not let me post pictures in the order that I want to, and leave commentary. So this whole post is dedicated to you. 

First of all, call me if you have any questions or need to talk. I am limiting my Facebook time and only check it if I get an email on computer about something important on Facebook. For example, this post… I felt like I needed to tell you and show you these things so I got on for you, but after that, I'm going back to my Facebook free life.

Now, as I have said, you have left me worried, and although you are feeling invisible, you have been on my mind quite a lot recently. I hate that I have left you alone in the situations back home, but don't worry it will all be over soon. Two more years! However, in this time apart, I know I am supposed to be at Eastern, we both know God's plan for my life, so you know that this is a crucial time for me as well. Hang in there!

In the meantime - you better be reading this - I was on my way to a class (bio as we have both discussed our distaste for) and of all things Louie Giglio's Indescribable Sermon Part: 5 comes through my earbuds. Typically I change it because I just want to listen to the whole sermon, not parts, but I took a moment and listened to the end. The part where he talks about the x-structure at the core of the whirlpool galaxy. I immediately thought of you. 

So you have heard it a thousand times through your iTunes playlist, but in case you have not taken the time to look at the actual x-structure, here is a picture of it. 

This is what it actually looks like. Deep in the core of the whirlpool galaxy, thirty-one MILLION light years away! "It's me, it's grace it's forgiveness, it's kindness it's God saying 'I love you!'" 

And in case you have not watched the actual sermon, here is the last section, the part with the whirlpool galaxy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIoBCgRC7Uo

Now… I know you like Louie Giglio… and I may not have told you about the next part I am going to tell you about. I'm going to tell you about Laminin. 

I know you don't like biology, but we are going to talk about it for a second. There is a tiny, cell adhesion molecule called Laminin. This tiny, cell adhesion molecule is NECESSARY and VITAL for holding the human body together. It is the glue of the human body, it holds our membranes together!

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Becca, I really don't care about this protein molecule called Laminin." But let me tell you, you will. The knowledge of this protein molecule was what got me through my sophomore year of high school, so since you are a sophomore and dealing with similar issues, but now more extreme, I think this is an appropriate time to show you Laminin. 

This is Laminin. 

Look Familiar? 

Apparently Louie is notorious for finding crosses everywhere! Here is the video. Watch it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-NPPIeeRk

God is holding us together! Literally! 

So, I know it is hard. I know it is just going to get harder, exams are going to be rough, it's going to get cold, your elbows are going to crack, your skin will dry out and the lack of Thankfulness and Christmas spirit will once again be in the house. BUT it doesn't matter because God is holding us together. 

Nothing else matters. God's got it under control.

I think that is one thing that I have learned from taking a break from most social media, and being back at college. Nothing that we go through really matters, it's what we do with it, with those chances and those choices that matter. It is how we react to Mom and Dad. It is how we respect them and their decisions that we make. And as long as you can get to the end of the day and you know that God held you together, physically, mentally, spiritually everything else that happened is okay. You could break down in tears every five minutes, but as long as you knew that God is holding you in that moment of weakness and brokenness, that is all that mattered. 

So, my advice to you:

Chose your battles very wisely: Meaning don't go off on Mom and Dad the minute you walk in the door and they say something that puts you on the edge. I've been there, I have done that. Listen to what they say, do what they say (as long as it is reasonable) and then get on with your own life. In doing this, you will have less fights with them, and they will start to gain your trust (which is how I got to leave without asking my senior year). James 1:19 says, "My Dear brothers and sisters, take not of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." 

Do NOT worry about tomorrow: I'm not saying don't study, please do. Knowledge is not going to descend upon you like a dove and then everyone will hear the voice of God say in the middle of bio, "this is my beloved daughter, whom I love, with her I am well pleased, and by my grace I will present her with all my knowledge of the human body as I designed it." As awesome as that would be (and if that happens to you, please cue God in on the idea of doing that for me in bio, thanks), that most likely is not going to happen. Not limiting God, I'm just saying… be prepared, but take it one day at a time. Matthew 6: 34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." 

Be Involved: Even though you may feel left out, or ignored still be involved. TBQ got me through  lot of hard times. There were many times that I looked forward to Bible Quiz meets because as you know, its a day out of the house and with friends. Gymnastics as you know was always the thing that got me through high school. Stay involved in drama at school, and I have sent some of my young adult friends your way and I am trusting that they will keep an eye out for you. 

Crank the Music: Unfortunately when I was a sophomore like you, I was not into Skillet or He Is We. In fact, I hated Skillet's heavy metal music and I had no clue that He Is We, was even a thing. Instead I listened to Relient K, (The old) Hawk Nelson and Taylor Swift. You're blessed enough with a big sister that has shown you a lot of great music (joking… kind of). I know you already do crank the music but as I am learning in my creative writing class, the language we use knows a lot more than we ever do. So the songs know more than you, let that language get you through this, tell you what you are feeling. Let it uplift you and move you, or help you realize how much more of God you need daily. 

Find a Mentor: This is someone older than you whom you trust very much. Someone who can be there for you when I can't. I know life at home is rough, but I can't come help you as often as I would like to. I have to be at church up here with University Christian Fellowship and Pastor Sarah. As you know, I am supposed to be here that's where God wants me, that's where I stay. 

Sew Something, Read a book, Write a Book, Scrap Book, Do something: In your free time, find out what gets your mind off of things. For me it was always writing, or if I couldn't write it, I would read and just immerse myself in a whole new world. I couldn't sew at your age, but work on a project, there is still a ton of fabric in the basement. Be creative, and have fun!

Keep a Look Out for Good Friends, Let THEM find YOU: When I was younger Dad once told me that I was good at choosing my friends. That's when I realized that I didn't choose them, they chose me. In fact, I hated most of my friends before I became friends with them. The same thing happened with Jessica. As I told you, one day in Theory I heard a "pssst," and my life was never the same. Although I typically have a very good judgement of character and can tell whether or not to trust someone, they still chose me, and they will chose you. Be open and answer the "pssst's" and if someone invites you to their lake house for the camping unit in missionettes, listen to Mom and go on it (that's how Chloe and I became friends if you didn't know that). They will come, and they will find you. Let God bless you with friends. I remember at the beginning of summer, I actually asked Mom right before service one day at church, "Mom why hasn't God given me friends, he told me to come home, he said he would provide that for me and yet I'm still alone." That day, I became better acquainted with Anthony, and he gave me the confirmation that I needed. It's amazing how God works! He did it with me this summer, he'll do it with you every time you need it!

Lastly, just enjoy life. You only get one sophomore year, and even if you feel defeated, put a smile on your face. It will help…

One time senior year all the cos girls were fighting. Ms. Bain yelled, (actually when she yelled it was more of a high pitched squeal) but anyway… I yelled for her and we all stopped and looked at her. She pointed to the door and said "outside now!" She made us do lunges and bunny hops, and spin in circles until we hit one another and then walk in a straight line. We were fumbling all over the place and eventually all just standing around laughing. She looked at us and said, "the choice of choosing whether or not to smile can be the difference between a good day and a bad day." I have found it to be true. So smile. Even if it's fake, even if it's forced, eventually no matter how bad it is, you will still be happy. 

Now that it is really late, I just want to let you know that I love you and you have been on my mind. I know I haven't always been the best sister, but I want to help you get through high school and finish off our relationship on a better note than when we started. I love you and you WILL make it through your sophomore year. I will see you Thanksgiving week! 

-Bec

P.S. ALWAYS REMEMBER LAMININ!

October: Part Three

My brother and sister had been at a TBQ meet all day, and had no idea that I was coming home, so when I went to go pick them up, they saw my van, with the bouquet of flowers that I caught at Jamie’s wedding in the windshield and Bethany said that she freaked out. Josh asked why I was home, and when I said Chloe, he walked away looking defeated and said disappointingly, “so you didn’t come home for us…”

Umm… no.

Around eight o’clock, Ellie and I left and met at the Schmitz house, but when we knocked nobody answered the door. We called Sophia and she didn’t answer, we called her again, still nothing. So we knocked, nothing. Phoebe was barking, but nobody was answering. We thought about just breaking into the garage with the code and walking through the garage door and finding whoever was home, but eventually someone sat down at the piano and we knocked again. Chloe came up to the door and she was surprised, the first thing she said to me was, “you liar!” I explained that I was planning on staying in Ypsi, until Ellie texted me. I then realized that even the chance at seeing Chloe for only twenty minutes, was worth the drive. Even if I didn’t get to see her, it was still worth it because I would have regretted it if Ellie had been able to see her, and I had stayed in Michigan. Besides, Ellie and I had decided that Mr. and Mrs. Schmitz love us enough that if we were standing at their door, they couldn’t say no to us.

Anyway, we ate cookies, and told our stories about what had happened over the course of our sophomore, and junior years. We looked on Pinterest together, discussed our weddings, apparently the whole Schmitz family is going to be in mine, we talked about where we pass gas the most (yes, that is what we talk about when we are alone, not boys). We watched a couple episodes of impractical jokers, and talked about our lives with each other even more. We sang “this little light of mine” in Mr. and Mrs. Schmitz room, bringing back old memories at Dayspring and eventually our time was up. I hadn’t laughed that hard or been that happy in what seemed like forever.

Sunday I went to church, and studied and comforted my sister as she was still dealing with the death of one of her friends from over the summer. (Please pray for her, she still feels like she could have stopped the suicide). I relaxed at home, and studied, I continued to take medicine, and as someone, I can’t remember who, told me, “woke up and felt like I got punched in the face,” even after my nap.

Yup.

We went to the overflow service Sunday night, and I felt like I knew the direction that God wanted me to go with my life right now, but I didn’t know how or where to start. So I talked to my Mom about it, which led me to talking to Pastor Gary about it. He gave me the same advice as everyone else, which was awesome, but he also gave me vital information through this process.

On our way home, Mom dropped me off at a restaurant so I could hang out with some of the young adults before I left for Ypsilanti once again. That night was awesome, we talked about our most embarrassing moments. Of course, I have one almost every week, but I told a story from last week about Mason throwing his pants at me, so I took them and ran. When I tried to jump onto the ledge in the gym, my shoe slipped on the floor, and I landed face first. That is my life, summed up in a couple of sentences.

Chad took me home, and it was really nice to get to talk with him some more. That night he told me something that had really stuck with me. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like God is moving or working in our lives, but he doesn’t waste any time so clearly he is still working. We just don’t see it. I knew he was right. I said goodbye and thank you, grabbed my laundry paid my mother back for my soda at the restaurant and left for Ypsilanti once again.

That week, I had just a ton of biology homework, and a ton of readings to do for Creative Writing, on top of the biology exam. I realized that I wasn’t drained because of how stressed I was, I was drained because I was tired of “having to know stuff.” But that week was pretty ordinary, nothing too exciting except that I got dinner at T-Bell with Dave, and we went back to his apartment and watched Grace Unplugged until one in the morning. I thought the movie would be stupid, but I really enjoyed it.  

After fund raising, Katie and I went to get coffee and on our way back, we passed my Chi Alpha group doing a worship session. I hadn’t been there in a couple of weeks, so it was really nice to see Pastor Sarah was even more pregnant. When we got back we when to one of the plays in Quirk so that Katie could get extra credit. It was interesting and kind of creepy. We then decided to go to the haunted house in the FYC (First Year Center). I thought it would be lame, but the clown almost made me pee my pants. We finally got out of the section with the strobe light and the insane girl saying “you’ll never make it out,” which made my claustrophobia kick in, and I almost started panicking. But once we found the out, we followed the hallway a little bit to find a door. Katie went to open it, and it opened itself as thee creepiest clown you can picture, blood dripping down the side of it’s griming mouth peeked from behind it. I screamed, and pushed Morgan and Katie through, running.

Friday was Halloween night. I spent it at the gym messing around with Waters, Michaela and Shannon. As I was walking home, it was cold, sleeting and my phone decided to shut off right as I was on my way home. The music stopped and all I could hear was some party going on behind me. That’s when I realized it wasn’t a party, it was my church, so I turned around in the freezing rain, my shoes wet, the wind biting any uncovered limbs, and I went to the worship service.

When I got back, I turned up the heat, made some hot chocolate and Cincinnati Chili and watched some Netflix as it continued to snow outside, and just like that, October was over. Midterm week(s) was/were over and I could finally breathe again. As I sat down and took a moment, I realized that I finally had time to think about something other than the next homework assignment that had to be completed.

Which leads me to November…, which I will tell you all about when it is over.

Until Next Time (or I guess December…),

-Becca

October: Part Two

During that week, I was supposed to have had a biology exam on Wednesday, but due to being a week behind, it had been moved and I hadn’t realized it. Which was great, it gave everyone else more time to study, but it gave him more time to pile information that we needed to know onto it. But it wasn’t great for me. The test was supposed to be perfect timing, right before the party and Cedar Point weekend. Then that weekend, I could just relax, finish up my Creative Writing portfolio and it would be no big deal. But everything seemed to be going out of control. I took a deep breath and told myself I had all Friday and Sunday to write and study.

That Friday, we spent the day cleaning and studying and that night was the first official party of the year. The Halloween Party. Mostly everyone from the team showed up at our apartment dressed for the occasion and I typically don’t like parties, but I have to say… This was the best party I have ever been to, many of my team members were not sober, so I was. It was funny watching them, and interacting with them, and I am sorry for anyone who viewed my snapchat story that night. It was great! Until we got to a team game, and Katie (not totally with it) screamed out on her turn, “Becca, you’re a terrible roommate.” Everyone turned and looked at me with their mouths dropped, did she really just say that in front of the whole team?

Shannon and Waters tried to make me feel better, but it wasn’t really working, and the terrible roommate I was, stayed up till about 2:00 a.m. helping her clean up so that we didn’t have to do it when we got back from, or before we leave for Cedar Point later that day. Do note that Becca, was in her room with Ethan, watching a movie during this time, not helping at all… (Don’t worry we talked about her lack of hosting skills later at Cedar Point). I didn’t realized how trashed my room, or the living room was for that matter, but it didn’t take long with Shannon, Danny, Mike, Dave and Orion helping us. I talked to Dave briefly about what Katie had said, and when he said goodbye he kissed me on the forehead and said not to worry about it. Something about that was so comforting, and I was so thankful for having him as a friend right then.

I didn’t think that Katie realized what she had said because she acted like nothing was wrong as we went off to bed. I tried to cry at all the pain that she had already put me through this year, but I couldn’t. I was too tired, and knew I would be driving early the next morning for two hours, so I went straight to sleep.

Eight A.M. (just like every other morning) we were up and running. We packed our lunches for Cedar Point, packed a bag full of cloths in case it was colder or raining, we picked up Morgan at the freshman dorms and started our trip. It wasn’t a bad ride, and I typically like driving. The day though, was FREEZING. We had thought that since it was cold out, nobody would come, but it was also packed.

The night came around quickly, and secrets from the party were shared, revenge was plotted when the secrets were told, the Halloweekends characters came out and the wax museum made my skin crawl. Sounds weird, but the drive home was actually probably the best part of my day. We were about twenty minutes into the drive, when we were digging into the Chex Mix that Reeves had left at the party. I took a handful and set it in my lap so I could eat in drive. For a second I looked down, and I see this massive spider hanging right above my chest. I let out a high pitched scream, and start flailing the arm that isn’t on the steering wheel. Everybody panics at my screaming, and I just yell, “there is a spider, kill it!” Morgan takes off her shoe, and from behind me starts whacking my chest. Meanwhile I’m trying not to panic about eating something that has a spider on it, and I’m trying not to swerve the van in my fear. Figuring that it’s my van, the remainder of the Chex mix that was in my lap, I swipe to the floor of my van. There was no way I was eating a spider. To this day, there are still crumbs down there.

The next thing that had happened was that all day at Cedar Point, Becca kept talking about the fact that she was looking forward to Wendy’s on our drive home. So we finally get past Toledo, and stop in a little town. We get through our four-different orders, they hand the food to us, and we start paying. Becca hands her card up, I had it to the woman, and she swipes it a couple times and then says that the card was denied. “The card was denied.” I repeat back to Becca.

“Well, s**t that’s all I got.” (Sorry for her language, but that’s what made it so funny). I ended up paying for her meal, and we laughed about that the whole way home, and jammed to the Jonas Brothers and T-Swift. We got back and crashed, knowing that all three of us were going to have to dedicated Sunday to studying. Instead Katie went home to deal with some stuff with her Tyler, after that I quickly went to sleep.

That day I spent on my portfolio, biology homework that he had piled on right before the exam. That Sunday I also received a snap chat from my sister informing me that my friend Ethan, had been appointed the pastor for the Chi Alpha ministry on Bowling Green’s campus, apparently they had prayed for him. I know I have not said it yet, so congratulations!

That week, was midterm week. I had:

·      A paper due on something that I had not read for Creative Writing

·      A paper due in Interpersonal Communications, and I had no idea what it was supposed to be about

·      My Biology Exam on Wednesday

·      My Apparel Studios full project due on Wednesday.

·      My whole Creative Writing portfolio due on Tuesday.

o   Five Stories/poems edited multiple times, at least three Rob had to have already seen.

o   Four in depth definitions of vocabulary words or concepts we have covered

o   A course reflection on how the process has been going.

·      My biology lab report due the following Wednesday.

·      For that week, two labs and pre-labs

·      And the fourth homework assignment of the semester for biology as well.

Somewhere between all of that, I was supposed to fit my small job, gymnastics, sleep and food. God definitely had his protective hand, and guided me through everything I did that week. Monday, I showed up to biology lecture wishing that I had just a couple extra days to study because I had been studying and studying, but not retaining any information. The first thing that Kevin said was that the test was moved to Monday and as long as we turn it in, we are allowed to use a half sheet of paper with any information we want on it. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Next I had apparel, where she gave a gentle reminder that the whole project was due on Wednesday. I finished up my samples, my first bag, and set up the last couple samples so that I could hand stitch the hook-and-eyes later. Then when I got home, I came across an email from Rob, saying that our portfolios were due on Thursday and the paper that was due on Thursday was also moved to the following week. I quickly scheduled out my week, and had it all figured out. I did biology homework and my interpersonal homework that night. I then went to practice, spent some good time in the gym, forgetting about all my worries.

Tuesday I went to work, picked up some groceries and necessities for my apparel project, and spent the rest of the night working on the apparel project. I finished ten minutes after midnight. Wednesday we had lab, I learned Mitosis and Meiosis quickly and I finally understood what was happening in lecture. Then when I got to apparel, she told us that the books didn’t have to be handed in until the end of class. So Rachel and I sat at the computer looking at patterns for my final project.

After classes, I worked on my Creative Writing portfolio, went to practice, went out do dinner with Mason and Katie. We got home, showered, and was done before twelve-thirty. I made final touches right before I went to class, and handed my portfolio in on time. That Thursday night, I finally had time to relax. (Becca’s) Ethan came up to visit her, and we went out for ice cream. I almost killed everyone with my lack of sensible direction, but it’s okay, we are all safe! When I got home, Michaela picked me up and we went ice skating.

It was really cool to see Michaela in her “natural habitat.” While I was struggling, she was making it all look so easy. I did fall a couple of times, and one of the team girls completely ran into me, knocking me on my back, but we are also okay. We had dinner at Steak and Shake, and just had a really fun night as midterm week was over… or so we thought.

Friday, I spent yet again, studying for that stupid biology exam. I got a text from an old friend, Anthony, who had been helping me through the week, and he was in town. So I went to the service with him, and he treated me to dinner. For the first time since we met, I told him my whole story from start to finish, and he looked at me and nodded. We talked and talked about it, and finally I revealed the one thing that I had been keeping from him, he just nodded at me and said, “I believe it.” That was the one thing that I needed to hear, and it was awesome to hear! He guided me in some questions that I had for him, and we even prayed over our waitress. He dropped me off at my car, and for the first time that week, I really felt good and relieved. That night I got a text from Chloe saying that I should come home, I told her that I would have to leave Saturday after work, and she said that it was okay! So I went to the gym, landed some fly-away halves for the first time in months, came back and started planning to go home.

I woke up the next morning with a sore throat and extremely dizzy. There was no skipping work, so I went to Kroger and put myself on Dayquil. I texted Chloe that I was sick and she told me to stay here anyway, there was a chance that her mom wouldn’t let me see her because it’s “family time.” I told her okay, and I was going to stay here. Until I got a text from Ellie asking if I was home. I said no, but I was thinking about it. Ellie said that she was sneaking over to surprise Chloe later that night, and if I was in town then we should do it together. So I grabbed my bags, and my laundry and left for home.

October: Part One

October…

The month where summer finally starts converting to fall, the hayrides come out, pumpkins get carved, fall retreats happen, so do Halloweekends. As a college student if you haven’t been home yet, it’s that time of the year to where it has been long enough that it is okay to pay a visit home. Besides the actual holiday of Halloween, and the fact that although it is turning from summer to fall, and the seasons are completely bipolar, it’s a pretty decent month.

But wait! I forgot one small flaw that October has, and it makes every college student cringe… Take a deep breath... in… out…

Midterm week.

Or as I experienced this year, midterm weeks.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. My October started off pretty well, and still ended pretty well. The in between was just a little crazy.

Being back at college, I typically had this rule that I could only go home once I got settled into being back at school. Meaning, my classes had started, the gymnastics team was rolling and my college life was back to normal. But what is normal really when you are in college?

It really never is “normal” you have ordinary days, where nothing interesting really happens. You may get a text from an old friend, or an old photo arises on your timehop and that is the most interesting part of your day sometimes. But there never is a “normal” day of college. Something is always a bit messed up. Like when your professors clearly think that the only class you are taking is theirs.

October was filled with many of these ordinary days, but there were also some extraordinary days as well.

The first weekend in October, I worked my Saturday morning, and left as soon as the gym was cleaned up. I love my job, but I was in a hurry to get home.

These are the wonderful kids and parents who help us clean up the gym after work!
So thankful for them!

 With all that had happened in September between Katie and I, there seemed to be a lot that I had to tell my family, and I couldn’t wait to see my siblings and get back to Dayspring.

Apparently my parents had been telling the dog all day that I was coming home, but she didn’t believe them until she saw my car pull up and she started going crazy. She wouldn’t leave me alone, but she had to. I quickly changed into something warmer, and we headed off to the apple orchards as a family to go apple picking.

Every time we try to say hello. #HawkNelson

Me and the Sister..

My lovely Mom and I

Carrying the Apples

Mom and Dad

Buttercup freaking out when I got home.

He's taller than me now

Getting lost on our way to MaQueens

Me and The Brother!

It was great to spend that time with the family and just be calm together, but the job had to quickly be done, because that was the night of Bethany’s sophomore homecoming and I was doing her hair.

She had been asked to the dance by a guy at her school. He had given her a baseball that said, “I might strike out, but homecoming?” It was cute, and she clearly said yes. Although, as I was doing her hair, she told me the story about how he ignored her the week before, and was talking about ditching her. So she decorated the other side of the ball to say “Three strikes you’re out,” in the meantime, she was texting the guy that she had a crush on for forever, and they were making plans to go together. Last minute dates… sounds very familiar, Bethany seems to take after me a lot without meaning to. But Oh how I do NOT miss the high school drama (though part of it never seems to leave).

Going back to church on Sunday was another interesting part of my weekend. It was weird to be back. We had taste of the nations that day, and I have been trying to get myself to try new foods when the opportunities arise, so I took advantage of that opportunity. I got reconnected for a minute with Gela, whom I had missed very much, and I had explained to her all that had happened while I was away. She gave me some really good advice, which is what I had needed.

Later that day, we had life groups, and it was really cool to get to know the family, and share part of my testimony. The girls seemed like really sweet girls, and they really wanted me to play with them, and eat with them. At that point I realized that my role of being an older sister to the young ones was sort of up. I am an adult now, not their baby sitter; my desire (although they are awesome young girls) is to sit in with the adults and the bible study. It was really weird knowing that it was no longer my role to entertain the younger ones. My sister however, is still stuck in that stage of life, but is quickly moving out of it.

When we were home, we rented a couple of movies, I bought The Fault In Our Stars, Mom and I cried, and cried. Then it was all over, and it was time for me to come back to Ypsi. Mom kept trying to throw food my way, and I told her I was fine, but she still made me take apples, a loaf of bread and some hamburger helper. I said goodbye to everyone, including the dog, who was very upset I was leaving her again and found my way back to Ypsilanti.

That week took an exciting twist. I had stopped talking to Katie about personal things, and she was catching on. Soon enough our conversations were slim to none, and very very dull. The same thing happened with Becca, I found out quickly that everything I was confiding in her about was getting told back to Katie. So although I was not telling Katie anything, she was still finding things out. Eventually I just stopped talking.

But, as I was sitting in biology lecture, I got a text from Katie, which was the final thing to push me over the edge. She triggered emotions I didn’t know I had, and so all I could respond was, “Understood, we need to talk.”

I realized though that when I got home, I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to sit in my room and get a good sob out before I talked to her. But she came knocking on my closed door, and invited herself in. She cleared the books from my pink chair and she sat down. We talked, and we talked. I explained my side, and she explained hers. Then we changed the subject and talked some more on the subject of dating. In her opinion, I should drop all of the standards I have set up for dating and just go out and have fun. Kiss a couple of guys, make some mistakes, and figure out what I want. I told her that’s not how I am, and that the standards are set up so that I don’t get hurt again. The more we talked about it, the more we disagreed, in a calming way, but I reassured her that I was not going to pass up any good opportunities, if I think that it is the right step. She seemed to be satisfied with that, and all seemed better.

That weekend I left for the Ohio Chi Alpha Fall Break Away. If you want to know what happened there, the whole story is in the previous post. All I am going to say is that God is amazing. I came back from that weekend, and told Katie and Becca what had happened. They looked at me like I was nuts, asked questions, and I answered them honestly. That Tuesday, October 14^th, Katie and I ended up making a bet. We wrote it down on paper and signed it. Eventually I’ll give the details of this bet, but just note that it was made… On October 14^th.