Expectations Vs. Reality

To all of those who happen to be reading all of these, or maybe it's just me... I know I said I would introduce Andrew and Ray next, and I will in the next blog, but college has already taken some interesting turns and I had one just a few moments ago.

I had just called my mom because I was curious about how to measure the length of my arm... don't ask, it was for gymnastics. Anyway, she didn't answer, so I moved on and tried it myself, hoping that I was doing it right. Soon after my sister calls back on the home phone (yes, people still have those!) and asks what I want. I told her that I wanted to talk to mom about gymnastics stuff, she apologizes for not answering before, she says she was on the phone with her councilor then she hands the phone off to mom.

It was just a typical conversation about gymnastics meets, and how we would get to the different colleges for these meets. Then she asked me if I was excited to compete at Miami University, my answer was not so enthusiastic. I was best friends, and cousins, with this girl:

(I'm on the left, she's on the right...)

Stephanie I grew up together, I got passed through car windows to be able to stay at her house for a "play date" when we were younger. We rarely fought, only when we shared a room one time when we were younger. Our history dates back to the day I was born. This is a type of friendship I was born into, and I was not one to complain. She was my best friend, as in future brides maid at my wedding, she would have even beat out Chloe... who is my very best friend (that I'm not related to) for the position. 

Anyway, she now goes to Miami. Last year when I was still a senior, she came back and gave me advice, told me I would love college. When she came back over the summer, I saw her exactly one time, at my brothers birthday party. We talked, and it was nice. At the time my sister, Bethany, was living with her family. 

Quickly into the summer, we realized that Bethany's main goal was to do whatever it took to keep living with Aunt Pam and Uncle Andy. That included spreading any lies possible. Next thing I knew, Stephanie was not talking to me, answering my messages, calls or snap chats. She didn't even say hi when I walked into her house. I figured she would get over it, but a couple weeks into college, I go to creep on her and we aren't even friends on Facebook. That was it. 

So, back to the phone call one of our meets is at Miami, so my mother had asked if I was excited about the gymnastics meet that was going to be held there. Like I said I was hesitant with my answer and not as enthusiastic as I should be. I told my mom that if she was ever a real friend, and she heard about the gymnastics meet, that she wouldn't just skip it. I think she would still show up to see if I was competing. She responded, "Well Andy..." 

That's when my brother interrupted. My mom told him to go, but I heard him say that someone was at the door. "Hold on," she said and I listened intently as she arrived at the door. It was a woman, "is Bethany here?" 

"Yes, and why are you asking?"

"Because, we got a message saying that Bethany was wanting to hurt herself..." 

Beep, Beep Beep...

I'm still waiting for the call back. 

This was things I was going through all of senior year. Bethany always said that everything was always about me, but when I look back at my home life during my senior year the only thing I remember is Bethany DRAMA. Threats to kill herself, threatening to run away, Bethany getting into trouble, Bethany calling the cops. Even now when I may actually find out what was going on with Stephanie, and why she isn't talking to me... it's about Bethany. 

For anyone reading this who actually knows my family, it hasn't been easy. I love my sister to death, but I honestly don't know what to think about her. As far as I'm concerned she made my best friend hate me, turned my favorite Aunt and Uncle against my whole family. Tore the Garber generation apart, we aren't even meeting for Thanksgiving. She doesn't see the damage that she is doing, or has done. Please pray for her. 

In the meantime, I will continue to discover all these little things that pop up when you leave for college and start a life on your own. It's not going to be easy, and many more important calls are probably going to be interrupted because of her. One day she will see the damage, and regret all that has happened, but I'm not going to be the one to hold it against her. 

Romans 5:8

"But God demonstrates his own love for us. In this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

I have to show that same kind of love to her, because when she realizes what she has done, she is going to hate that she did it, and it is going to be punishment enough. 

Long story short... for all those seniors out there who only want to get away from the family. Leave and never go back, I was one of them. I was ready to leave and never speak to anyone in my family again. Especially after all that drama. Maybe there was a few, Aunt Vicki... Grandpa... but other than that I was ready to try to figure out summers of living on my own, save money for a car, teach myself maneuverability to get my license. I was ready, but no matter how ready you are, you still call home when an odd rash shows up on your legs. You still call home when you don't know why you can't schedule your second semester schedule, you still call home, asking to come home. Even if it is to see your best friend or boyfriend and not your family. So to those seniors who think they are going to go to college and "escape..."

Just a warning...

It never happens! 

And that was today's life lesson...

Until Next Time!

-Bec