Ever since I was in eighth grade, I knew that I wanted to write. I was never sure if it would turn into a major, but I just knew that I enjoyed writing stories. I knew that I had a story to tell, one that was worth while, one that thanked people that needed to be thanked some in ways that only they would see, others would be made obvious. As high school went on, I was majorly considering what I wanted to do with my life and writing kept getting higher and higher up on my list. By my junior year I was in the cosmetology program at school, but I knew what I wanted to go to college for. I wanted to write books. That's it, just books.
Many times I have been told that a creative writing major is not a sensible major, that I'm not going to make any money. I would always brush it off, and say, "No i'm going to make it." I would always joke, telling my best friend in high school that the first million I make on my books goes to her. The second would go to my uncle… and although I would love to be extremely successful. The next Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Twilight, or Nicolas Sparks novel… but the odds are… it may not happen.
My Dad always told me to dream big, so I listened to him, and I did. Now I'm here in college, majoring in creative writing, hoping that one day I will be signing books and script writing for movies and casting young girls for the roles of Macy, Ivy, Jade, Corinne, and Tessa. I want so desperately to succeed at writing, because I know what would happen if I don't, my childhood would repeat itself, and honestly that is probably my worst fear.
It was a couple of days ago, Tuesday actually, I sat in my anthropology class as my professor went on to explain how much money people put into becoming a doctor, just to possibly not make that much money back. She was giving us numbers for the cost of school and how long, then she would give us numbers of how much they made, and how much money went towards malpractice insurance and so on. So out of curiosity the next day, I decided to look up the average income of authors, and the numbers I was seeing… gave me doubt.
For a minute I asked myself if switching my major was an option. No, it wasn't. What would I change it to? I haven't even thought about anything else for years. Yeah, I fancied the idea of being a forensic anthropologist, but honestly so many of the things anthropologists are taught, collide with my beliefs. To get a doctorate in it, would make my head spin. Besides that, what else have I really thought about doing? Nothing, I just want to write. I need to write.
Although, as I woke up this morning I couldn't help but think about my most recent story that I am working on. As I was dealing with the struggles I was having with it, I just thought to myself, "how could you possibly think that you could give up your writing major?"
My answer was simple. Fear.
The fear that I wouldn't succeed. The fear that I wouldn't prove people wrong. Or I would prove certain people right. The fear that I would go through all this school, all these years of dreaming and talking about how I'm going sell al these books, and for none of it to really happen.
But what do I really have to fear? If God is really for me, then who can really stop me? Doesn't he command us to be strong and courageous and to not have any fear?
Multiple times the bible references the idea of fear:
"The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:6
"You who fear him, trust the LORD -- he is their help and shield." Pslam 115:11
Then there are the verses about being courageous:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
After thinking about all those bible verses that came to mind when I realized the fear of not being successful came to mind, I thought about the life that I grew up with.
No not my home life… the life I have had with my friends…
You're probably confused, but let me explain.
In the corner of my best friend's dresser sat this little wooden model of Afghanistan. For many years we have known the reason why that model sat on her dresser. From a young age she had felt that God's call on her life was to eventually go to Afghanistan and be a missionary there. The idea sounds terrifying, especially knowing how women are treated over there! That and being a Christian!
On top of that, she is a worship major, which to a normal person does not sound very idealistic. The pay most likely isn't very high and the likelihood of being successful (at least for the average person - but she's not average at all…) is low. My other best friend, she's a music major. As in classical music, she will be performing for a living. That doesn't sound very idealistic either. She currently makes her money teaching ballet to little girls. Her boyfriend is also a music major… What on earth says that this is idealistic and leads immediately to success to the average person!?
Absolutely nothing…
The thing is that Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" If that's the promise that God has for us… then what is it that we have to fear? Why can't we chase our dreams of being concert musicians, worship leaders, authors, pastors, missionaries?
We have nothing to fear in this life… as long as we have faith in God.
And that's what I've learned this week. "Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened…"
Until Next Time,
Becca
Many times I have been told that a creative writing major is not a sensible major, that I'm not going to make any money. I would always brush it off, and say, "No i'm going to make it." I would always joke, telling my best friend in high school that the first million I make on my books goes to her. The second would go to my uncle… and although I would love to be extremely successful. The next Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Twilight, or Nicolas Sparks novel… but the odds are… it may not happen.
My Dad always told me to dream big, so I listened to him, and I did. Now I'm here in college, majoring in creative writing, hoping that one day I will be signing books and script writing for movies and casting young girls for the roles of Macy, Ivy, Jade, Corinne, and Tessa. I want so desperately to succeed at writing, because I know what would happen if I don't, my childhood would repeat itself, and honestly that is probably my worst fear.
It was a couple of days ago, Tuesday actually, I sat in my anthropology class as my professor went on to explain how much money people put into becoming a doctor, just to possibly not make that much money back. She was giving us numbers for the cost of school and how long, then she would give us numbers of how much they made, and how much money went towards malpractice insurance and so on. So out of curiosity the next day, I decided to look up the average income of authors, and the numbers I was seeing… gave me doubt.
For a minute I asked myself if switching my major was an option. No, it wasn't. What would I change it to? I haven't even thought about anything else for years. Yeah, I fancied the idea of being a forensic anthropologist, but honestly so many of the things anthropologists are taught, collide with my beliefs. To get a doctorate in it, would make my head spin. Besides that, what else have I really thought about doing? Nothing, I just want to write. I need to write.
Although, as I woke up this morning I couldn't help but think about my most recent story that I am working on. As I was dealing with the struggles I was having with it, I just thought to myself, "how could you possibly think that you could give up your writing major?"
My answer was simple. Fear.
The fear that I wouldn't succeed. The fear that I wouldn't prove people wrong. Or I would prove certain people right. The fear that I would go through all this school, all these years of dreaming and talking about how I'm going sell al these books, and for none of it to really happen.
But what do I really have to fear? If God is really for me, then who can really stop me? Doesn't he command us to be strong and courageous and to not have any fear?
Multiple times the bible references the idea of fear:
"The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:6
"You who fear him, trust the LORD -- he is their help and shield." Pslam 115:11
Then there are the verses about being courageous:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
After thinking about all those bible verses that came to mind when I realized the fear of not being successful came to mind, I thought about the life that I grew up with.
No not my home life… the life I have had with my friends…
You're probably confused, but let me explain.
In the corner of my best friend's dresser sat this little wooden model of Afghanistan. For many years we have known the reason why that model sat on her dresser. From a young age she had felt that God's call on her life was to eventually go to Afghanistan and be a missionary there. The idea sounds terrifying, especially knowing how women are treated over there! That and being a Christian!
On top of that, she is a worship major, which to a normal person does not sound very idealistic. The pay most likely isn't very high and the likelihood of being successful (at least for the average person - but she's not average at all…) is low. My other best friend, she's a music major. As in classical music, she will be performing for a living. That doesn't sound very idealistic either. She currently makes her money teaching ballet to little girls. Her boyfriend is also a music major… What on earth says that this is idealistic and leads immediately to success to the average person!?
Absolutely nothing…
The thing is that Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" If that's the promise that God has for us… then what is it that we have to fear? Why can't we chase our dreams of being concert musicians, worship leaders, authors, pastors, missionaries?
We have nothing to fear in this life… as long as we have faith in God.
And that's what I've learned this week. "Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened…"
Until Next Time,
Becca
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