I know I have already done a post about regret, and living a life of no regrets, but it's not that I take back anything I said in that post. I don't, but I was thinking about it even further and I have just a little bit more to say about it.
The other night I was pulling a typical last minute sleep over at Chloe's house. As we were laying there we were in a deep conversation about possible mistakes that we have made and whether we regret them or not. One thing Chloe said was "The problem I have is that I hate that I'm going to have to tell my future husband what I have done…" That made me really think did I regret those things that I may have done?
Now if you don't know what I'm talking about it could be just getting so wasted that you don't remember that night, you could have cheated on your significant other and not remembered. It could be telling a huge secret that you swore to keep and it destroyed your friendship or even going too far in a relationship. Just think of the worst thing you have ever done… this is what I am talking about.
So I sat there and questioned if I regretted it. I chose my words very carefully as I explained to Chloe what was on my mind. I really want to live a life of no regrets, and at this point, I still don't regret anything. So I told her this, "If I sat here and regretted everything that happened with Tyler, I would waste my time wishing I could go back and change what had happened. Yes, I do realize that when I the times come and I have to tell my husband what happened, it will hurt him, but I also know that I love my future husband not because he thinks I'm perfect but because he knows that I am completely imperfect and loves me anyway."
So I explained to Chloe that in my letters I had already told him everything and apologized for it. By letters I mean that for a while I had been writing letters to my future husband. I had stopped somewhere between senior year and my freshman year, but after the break up, I started again. It was comforting. This began my healing process.
Once I had told him, and confessed it to Chloe and Sophia, that was all I needed. I asked God to forgive my sins, I asked for forgiveness from my friends even though it was not their position because technically they didn't get hurt through it, just disappointed. I even asked for forgiveness from my future husband. So why would I need to regret it?
I think the real question to ask someone who has made a mistake is this;
Knowing everything you know now… If you could go back to that day that you made that mistake, would you change it?
People's responses may be different. Although everything you have done up to this point in your life has made you who you are today, it may have also hurt other people. It's not that you can change that day, but if you could, would you? Yes? No? Give your answer, ask for forgiveness and move on. There is nothing you can do about it now except learn from it.
The other night I was pulling a typical last minute sleep over at Chloe's house. As we were laying there we were in a deep conversation about possible mistakes that we have made and whether we regret them or not. One thing Chloe said was "The problem I have is that I hate that I'm going to have to tell my future husband what I have done…" That made me really think did I regret those things that I may have done?
Now if you don't know what I'm talking about it could be just getting so wasted that you don't remember that night, you could have cheated on your significant other and not remembered. It could be telling a huge secret that you swore to keep and it destroyed your friendship or even going too far in a relationship. Just think of the worst thing you have ever done… this is what I am talking about.
So I sat there and questioned if I regretted it. I chose my words very carefully as I explained to Chloe what was on my mind. I really want to live a life of no regrets, and at this point, I still don't regret anything. So I told her this, "If I sat here and regretted everything that happened with Tyler, I would waste my time wishing I could go back and change what had happened. Yes, I do realize that when I the times come and I have to tell my husband what happened, it will hurt him, but I also know that I love my future husband not because he thinks I'm perfect but because he knows that I am completely imperfect and loves me anyway."
So I explained to Chloe that in my letters I had already told him everything and apologized for it. By letters I mean that for a while I had been writing letters to my future husband. I had stopped somewhere between senior year and my freshman year, but after the break up, I started again. It was comforting. This began my healing process.
Once I had told him, and confessed it to Chloe and Sophia, that was all I needed. I asked God to forgive my sins, I asked for forgiveness from my friends even though it was not their position because technically they didn't get hurt through it, just disappointed. I even asked for forgiveness from my future husband. So why would I need to regret it?
I think the real question to ask someone who has made a mistake is this;
Knowing everything you know now… If you could go back to that day that you made that mistake, would you change it?
People's responses may be different. Although everything you have done up to this point in your life has made you who you are today, it may have also hurt other people. It's not that you can change that day, but if you could, would you? Yes? No? Give your answer, ask for forgiveness and move on. There is nothing you can do about it now except learn from it.
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